Benjamin Otu EffiwattAre you constantly walking away from work feeling depleted, confused, and doubting yourself because of how your manager treats you? If so, you may have a narcissistic boss. Not just a bad boss—a narcissistic boss.
Before we jump in, if you’ve ever felt like your boss only thinks about themselves, takes credit for your work, or dismisses you, know that you’re not alone.
Relationships with coworkers matter.A supportive boss can encourage you to reach your goals and enjoy every step of the journey. A narcissistic boss, on the other hand, can cause anxiety, destroy team morale, and contribute to mental health issues.The problem is that narcissists often come across as confident, charming, and highly competent in the beginning stages of your relationship. But after working with them for a while, certain warning signs start to emerge.
Here are the most common signs:
1. Everything Is Always About Them
Superficially, narcissists just love the sound of their own voice. If your boss consistently turns any conversation back to themselves, their accomplishments, or their problems, that’s a sign they may be narcissistic.
Even in group settings like team meetings, they may focus heavily on what they’ve done rather than praising the team.
Here are a few examples:
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They regularly boast about their success.
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They interrupt people to talk about themselves.
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They talk over others in meetings.
Healthy leaders praise their team. Narcissistic bosses want all eyes on them… all the time.
2. They Take Credit for Your Work
Have you ever poured your heart and soul into a project only to watch your boss take all the credit?
Yeah, we’ve all been there. It’s humiliating and one of the most aggravating things a boss can do.
But when you have a narcissistic boss, they steal your credit because they need it. They need the recognition to feel important.
For narcissistic bosses, it’s not uncommon to share your ideas with senior leadership as if they were theirs. They’ll leave your name off presentations and applaud themselves for your hard work.
Let’s take a look at a few phrases you might hear if your boss takes credit for your work:
“I developed this new strategy…”
“My idea really helped our team succeed…”
Sound familiar?
Even when you know they’re full of it.
3. They Lack Empathy
Leaders who lack empathy often fail to see things from their employees’ perspective.
Can you imagine your boss not caring if you’re overwhelmed with deadlines, feeling anxious, or not feeling well?
Empathy is critical to healthy leadership. When something is off with a teammate, a strong leader reacts with support and compassion. A narcissistic boss will often brush it off.
Here are some examples:
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They won’t listen to your problems.
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They don’t care about work-life balance.
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They coldly brush off anyone who needs help.
If you call in sick, take too many personal days, or don’t meet their expectations, they may look at you like you’ve grown another head.
In their eyes, your feelings don’t matter as much as their deadlines.
4. They Constantly Need Praise
Like anyone else, your boss wants to feel appreciated.
But if you’re trying to identify the 10 signs your boss is a narcissist, their need for praise will be borderline excessive.
Bosses with narcissistic tendencies crave admiration. They want to hear how great they are on a daily basis and may get annoyed when they don’t receive it.
You may notice:
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They fish for compliments.
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They expect you to praise their decisions.
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They get defensive when others don’t compliment them.
Some coworkers even feel the need to flatter their boss just to keep the peace.
5. They React Poorly to Criticism
Let’s face it—nobody likes being told they’re wrong or that they did something poorly. However, as professional adults, we understand that feedback is a necessary part of life and learn how to take it gracefully.
Narcissistic bosses, however, aren’t great at handling criticism.
If you question their decision or suggest an alternative idea, they may respond by:
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Getting defensive
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Cutting you off
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Blaming others
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Attacking you
Instead of viewing feedback as an opportunity to learn, they treat it like you’re trying to dismantle their authority.
Employees are often afraid to speak up around narcissistic bosses.
6. They Manipulate People
Manipulation is something most of us recognize instantly. Your boss may use manipulation to control employees or remain in power.
Examples of manipulation include:
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Twisting facts
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Pitting teammates against each other
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Gaslighting employees
Your boss might compliment you one day and criticize you the next. Or they may tell your teammates one thing and tell you something completely different.
Regardless of their reasons, this creates a toxic work environment and divides the team.
7. They Create a Culture of Fear
Healthy workplaces thrive on transparency and teamwork. But if your boss rules through fear, employees are often afraid to:
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Share their ideas
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Make mistakes
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Speak up
Of course, inspiring your team to do their best is one thing. But many narcissistic bosses use intimidation to control their employees.
Not only will this drive you crazy, but it can also lead to long-term effects like burnout, anxiety, and team conflict.
8. They Play Favorites
Most decent leaders treat their employees equally and reward hard work.
Bosses with narcissistic tendencies often do the complete opposite.
Guess who they take everything out on?
Employees who don’t go along with their plans, challenge them, or remain neutral on issues.
Bosses who play favorites are divisive leaders who create chaos within their teams.
While they may shower certain employees with praise and accolades, others may be ignored or punished for not constantly agreeing with them.
9. They Rarely Accept Responsibility
If your boss somehow inserts themselves into everything you do without actually doing much, that’s another red flag.
Bosses who can’t accept responsibility will always find someone else to blame when things go wrong.
A failed project? Must be the team’s fault.
A bad decision? Oh really—you must have misunderstood.
A missed deadline? Obviously it’s because of Jim from accounting.
But as soon as something goes right, prepare for a long-winded explanation about how your boss made it all happen.
10. They Constantly Undermine Others
Have you ever noticed how some bosses subtly put down their employees to appear better than them?
Here are some examples of how your boss may undermine you:
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Backhanded compliments
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Public criticism
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Humiliating you for making a mistake
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Saying they love your ideas but have something better
Sound familiar?
If they constantly belittle you and your coworkers, that’s a sign they may have narcissistic tendencies.
Employees who work under narcissists often lose confidence in themselves and their abilities. No one wants to share ideas if they know they’ll be shot down anyway.
How a Narcissistic Boss Affects Your Well-Being
Dealing with a narcissistic boss can make you feel drained, anxious, and unhappy—even if you love your job.
Working under this kind of leadership can cause:
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Stress
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Anxiety
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Burnout
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Loss of motivation
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Decreased confidence
Your boss might even make you question your skills, even if you’re really good at your job.
The stress of dealing with a narcissistic boss can also affect your personal life. You may start dreading going into the office or feel anxious whenever you think about work.
Understanding how to spot the 10 signs your boss is a narcissist can help you realize that you are not the problem.
Sometimes the problem really is your boss.
How to Deal With a Narcissistic Boss
Unfortunately, you can’t teach a narcissistic boss how not to be narcissistic. But you can take steps to protect yourself from their behavior.
1. Document Everything
Documentation is your friend. Always keep track of communication, tasks, responsibilities, and achievements at work.
This can protect you if your boss tries to shift blame onto you or take credit for your work.
2. Set Boundaries
Don’t be afraid to set boundaries with your boss. You don’t have to share personal information if they haven’t shared with you.
Also try to avoid getting dragged into workplace conflicts or stressful situations involving your boss.
3. Stay Professional
No matter how irrational or unfair your boss may be, stay professional. You never know who is watching or listening.
Keep your cool, do your job, and don’t stoop to your boss’s level by reacting emotionally to their behavior.
4. Build a Support Network
Nothing helps more than having coworkers you trust and can confide in.
Chances are they see the same things you do and may even have helpful advice.
5. Know When to Move On
If your boss is negatively affecting your mental and physical well-being, it may be time to look for a new job.
Let me say that again.
If your job is making you miserable, consider reaching out to a recruiting agency or start looking for new opportunities.
Bosses will always be bosses, but you deserve to work for someone who helps you grow instead of tearing you down.
Final Thoughts
I know firsthand how draining it can be to work under a narcissistic boss.
At first, you may not realize what’s going on. But the longer you work with a narcissist, the more you’ll notice patterns of manipulation, selfishness, and disrespect. Knowledge is power. If you can identify the 10 signs your boss is a narcissist, you can protect your confidence and better manage your reactions.
A narcissistic boss does not define you as a person or employee. Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect, and no job is worth sacrificing your mental health. If you’re stuck working with a narcissistic boss, start looking for ways to move on to a job that better suits your needs. You deserve to feel proud of where you work—not stressed out and anxious every day.
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