You know those moments where you suddenly wonder if the guy you’re seeing actually likes you? Me too. It sucks. Like really sucks. And that awful feeling in the pit of your stomach when you start questioning whether he’s only after your body…

Truth is, some men are masters at saying and doing just enough to keep you interested and coming back for more without ever really giving you their heart. Guys that are just after your body are smooth. They know how to make you feel special without ever having to really step up.

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What’s the Difference Between Someone Who Likes Your Body vs. Likes You?

Alright, so first things first: being attracted to someone’s body isn’t a bad thing. It’s totally normal and healthy to be turned on by your partner. It’s also usually the first thing that draws two people together when they start dating.

The difference between someone who likes you and someone who’s only after your body comes down to the other things that interest him about you. Someone who truly likes you will actually want to know what’s going on inside your head.

He’ll ask you questions about your day, about your dreams and goals, and actually care when you have a bad day. He’ll ask you about things that don’t involve the two of you in bed. He wants to know you inside and out.

9 Signs He’s Only After Your Body

1.Conversations Almost Always Lead Back to Sex

When a guy is really into you, getting to know you won’t feel like an interview. He’ll ask you questions about everything — about your day, about your sense of humor, about your family, about your goals and dreams. He wants to know what makes you “you.”

If you start to notice that every single conversation you have leads back to sex in some way, shape, or form — that’s a pretty big red flag.

It won’t always be obvious. He may not blatantly turn every conversation to sex, but if you pay close attention, you’ll start to realize all his compliments are about your body, all his jokes are sexual in nature, and anytime you try to have a real conversation with him, he quickly redirects back to physical things.

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2.He’s Only There When Sex is on the Table

Notice I didn’t say “making love.” Notice how I specifically said sex. Guys that are just after your body are warm, nice, and full of game when it leads to physical intimacy — and cold as ice when it doesn’t.

He may flake on dates that don’t involve going to his place or yours. He may take forever to text you back if the conversation isn’t going in the direction of sex. The energy he gives off toward you will feel incredibly transactional.

He shows up when there’s something in it for him. And disappears when there isn’t.

3.He Doesn’t Ask About You or Remember the Things You’ve Said

Remember how I said that someone who actually likes you will ask you questions about things that don’t involve having sex? Well, someone who truly likes you will also remember the things you tell him.

They remember because they actually care. They ask you how your job interview went because you told them you had one. They randomly send you a link to that article you were talking about last week.

If he asks about your life, remembers things you’ve told him, and stays engaged when you talk about non-sex-related things — he’s been paying attention. He thinks about you when you’re not together, and that matters.

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4.The Relationship Feels Like It’s Not Going Anywhere

I’m going to say this once and I’ll say it clearly: if the relationship never goes anywhere, he’s probably not that into you. Sure, there are times in every relationship where things feel stagnant or don’t move forward. But if you can be seeing someone for months or even years and still feel like you’re standing still — he’s probably not that into you.

It’s that simple. If the two of you never progress past physical intimacy, he’s telling you exactly what he wants out of this by not taking things deeper.

5.He Doesn’t Seem to Put Much Effort In Outside of the Bedroom

Effort is something I think is super telling when it comes to how someone feels about you. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: effort doesn’t lie.

If a guy wants to be with you, he’ll find reasons to show up for you — whether that’s texting you just to say hi, making time to actually take you on a date, or remembering that small thing you mentioned a few weeks back and following up on it.

Guys that aren’t into you won’t put in effort when there’s no physical destination. If he only reaches out when he wants to see you — that’s all he wants you for.

6.He Ghosts You Between Sexy Times

I don’t care if he told you he was stressed at work. I don’t care if he said he was tired from working out. If he flakes on you consistently — and especially if he disappears between the times you’ve been intimate — he doesn’t care about you.

When guys are only after your body, they tend to run this hot-and-cold pattern with you. He’ll be all over you and texting you every hour when he wants sex. And then ghost you for days once you’ve hooked up.

It’s a silly mind game some guys play, and it directly reflects how much he’s thinking about you when you’re not together. Hint: not much.

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7.He Avoids Making This a “Thing”

Have you tried to talk to him about what the two of you are — and does he dodge the question every time you bring it up? If he won’t even discuss it with you, that’s something to pay attention to.

If a guy sees a future with you, he’ll want to know that you see one with him too. He won’t be afraid to define the relationship or talk about taking things seriously.

It’s common for guys to avoid defining the relationship because they don’t want to be tied down. But if he’s willing to spend his nights, weekends, and money on you — he’ll make that obvious too.

8.Your Emotional Vulnerability is Met With Discomfort or Withdrawal

Try telling him something real next time you’re hanging out. Tell him about your worries. Tell him about something you dream of doing. Tell him about something that hurt your feelings.

See what he does with that information. Will he brush it off? Will he ignore it and change the subject? Will he suddenly become distant?

Men who are only after your body will avoid emotional connection at all costs. They know enough to keep you satisfied physically, but they don’t want you showing up emotionally.

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What to Do

It hurts when you realize someone you like only wants you for your body. But you deserve so much more than that. Going forward, invest your time in people you actually enjoy spending time with — even when there’s no physical chemistry involved.

Trust your gut. If you feel like something is off, it probably is. Listen to your instincts and have a candid conversation with him about what you want, then watch what he does — or doesn’t do — moving forward.

You deserve someone who is just as interested in your mind as you are in his. You deserve someone who goes out of their way to show you they care about you every single day. If he can’t give you that — don’t settle for him giving you anything less.

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